Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
