is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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