please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize