im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
