I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
