he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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