Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
