Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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