i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
try to milk me bitch
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