If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
