that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
