I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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