woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
