oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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