That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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