My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
