I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
