Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Girls should come with a carfax report
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
