I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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