dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
