I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
