Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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