I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
