He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
