the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
