Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
