she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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