he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
