You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize