My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
