There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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