Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
