Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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