He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
