Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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