Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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