dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
