I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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