whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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