Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
