Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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