Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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