in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
