Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
