out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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