He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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