My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
