why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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