I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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