What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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