Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
