3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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