Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
