When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
