I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Holy shit dude........stairs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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