I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
