So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize