Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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