Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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