we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
