and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
