her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
