That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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