Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
