I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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